Keeping the Spark In Your Relationship

Relationships are wonderful at the beginning.  A euphoric mix of excitement and anticipation wondering where it will lead.  After this initial period things settle down but still the honeymoon period begins.  The time span of the honeymoon period varies depending on the couple and the circumstances, but why does it have to end?

Of course circumstances change, children may appear and you  may not have the time or energy to spend on each other as you once did.  But surely the feelings of the honeymoon period came from within you ,sparked by the other person.  Should we really allow circumstance to change the feeling of our relationships?  Would it really go if we continued to try to make our partner feel loved and special as we once did?

What we really want after all is that feeling of being in love and being loved, surely we can have that through out our relationship if only we put the effort in?  We let other things take over, that may seem important at the time but isn't our relationship our priority?  How would we feel if we lost it?

Our partner is, after all.the same person that we met.  That person that we thought about constantly ,dreamed about, talked about and wanted to be with 24/7.  Remember them?  Granted it can't always be quite like that else we wouldn't get anything else done but surely the feeling of love and adoration should last a lifetime?  We can get bored or frustrated with our relationships and wonder if we could have something more.  We feel empty and unappreciated.

Where does the spark go?  Can you get it back?  Or how do you keep it in the first place?  I believe that there are certain requirements to help us keep it, and,if we really want to, get it back if its gone already.

When you met and it was all dreamy you were focusing on all the good stuff.  When did you stop?  Why did you stop?  Was it gradual?  Did they not live up to your expectations?  Are you being fair?

It is a downward spiral when you start to dwell on another persons imperfections.  Think about why you both felt so wonderful when you met.  Was it because you made each other feel special?  Because you saw all that was good and wonderful and unique about each other?  What would happen if you focused on those things now?

Why don't you try telling your partner what you love about them?  We should do this every day,more than once. We all love to be appreciated.In fact it is a necessity.

A large portion of men who have been unfaithful have said that it wasn't because their mistress was more attractive/intelligent or funny than their wife, it was because they made them feel admired, appreciated and supported.

Being taken for granted is not conducive to a happy relationship.

It doesn't take much effort to say,'I'm so grateful you did this, what would I do without you?'
So if the spark has already gone do you want it back?  Does your partner?


If so then start by focusing on all that is good about them.  Let the rest go.  None of us are perfect and you knew that when you made a commitment to be with this person.


Love them for their faults and they will love you for it.  The Law of Attraction says you get more of what you focus on, the more you appreciate and praise your partner the more they will want to please you.

Men need to be appreciated, supported and admired and trusted.

Women need to be cared for, respected, reassured and understood.  We need loving attention.

We have to recognise the differences between us to understand what the other person needs.  If you fulfil their needs they will be happy.

It takes some effort, no one said it would be easy, but it can be if it becomes second nature. The more you put in the more you get out.

Spend time together.  Turn off the T.V and talk.  Talk about things that don't matter. Have fun, giggle together.  Be daft.  Too much serious will obviously take its toll.

Be affectionate.  Hold hands, cuddle. Don't sit on separate sofas, don't go upstairs to play video games and leave your wife alone downstairs.  BE together.

Be considerate.  Make their life a little easier by helping just a bit more.


Make loving gestures, they don't have to be huge.  A cup of tea in bed, watch what they want on t.v even if you hate it. A bunch of flowers or get up with the kids so they can have a lie in.


Tell them you love them,as much as you feel you can.  Didn't you used to?

Respect each other.  Respect each others feelings, wants, needs, wishes, opinions and space.  Never put them down or play games and avoid making them feel guilty.  Helping them feel better about themselves will have a major effect on your relationship.  Keep your criticism to yourself and don't lay blame.

Smile at each other. Take time to look at them when they walk through the door and smile. Show them you are pleased to see them.

Trust them.  Open up to them and be yourself around them.


Eat you meals together, go to bed at the same time.  Show them that you want to be near them.

Pay them compliments, a compliment goes a long way.

Make love, often.  Make time so you can take your time.  (If this is an issue then it will get easier after you have applied the other tips first I think)


Make time to just BE together.  No kids of family around,just time so you can focus on each other.

Remember, you can't expect someone else to make you happy.  Your happiness is within you.  Make yourself happy and you will be more pleasant to be around.  Happiness is contagious.  Appreciate your partner more and show them love at the same time, then notice the difference.

I know I have made this sound easy and it will be for some of you.  For those of you in a very unhappy relationship just try one thing at first and see what happens. You don't have to tell your partner that you are trying to change, just do what you feel you can, and then one more thing and one more.

I really hope this has made you think and you have a wonderful evening with your loved one tonight,

Jane